Why Do Our Dreams Linger Beyond Our Reach?

Where we're going wrong on our journey towards fulfillment.

The five steps towards achieving any long-term change are:

1. premeditate

2. contemplate

3. prepare

4. act

5. persevere

If you've been chasing your dreams and failing, it could be that you are falling into one of the following common traps:

Firstly, if you are feeling energized and attempting to change your life around in a number of areas all at the same time, it could be that you have bitten off more than you can chew and are spreading yourself too thinly. You are, metaphorically speaking, chasing too many rabbits. Your attention is being pulled in too many directions at the same time and as a result, your outcomes are poor. Your frustration understandably grows and before you know it, you are slip-sliding back into your old habits, demotivated and deflated.

To stop this from happening, it is of upmost importance to focus. Choose one area of your life you want to change, the top priority you want to focus on and visualize the outcome. In great detail. An then throw all your energy at it.

The second point most people get stuck is preparation. Either they under-prepare and then stop start in the action phase, trying various avenues that ultimately lead to failure. Or they over-prepare and never make it to the action phase. They procrastinate and never get the show on the road.

Another reason things may not be going according to plan, is that your plan is in some way flawed. Perhaps your expectations are too high and you want to much too soon. Everyone needs a reality-check. Again, a life or business coach will help to tame your wild wants and trim them to your personal reality.

Could it be that you have some internal belief that is holding you back? Perhaps on some subconscious level you don't believe you deserve success, perhaps you crave and simultaneously fear achieving your goal or perhaps you believe that successful people are mean and selfish? It is worth exploring your blueprint and internal programming. Your mindset will ultimately determine whether you are successful or not.

Probably the most important phase of any change process is also the one that gets underestimated the most. This is the perseverance phase. This is where you need to keep at it. For many, this is the most difficult phase and the one where most fail. Persevering means staying loyal to your new habits beyond the first few weeks and making them an integral part of who you are. For instance, with sport, you go from being someone who simply GOES jogging three times a week to someone who IS sporty, by definition. You go from someone who has MADE a number of successful business deals to someone who IS a successful entrepreneur. Your new habit becomes and integral part of your new identity.

When you achieve this, you have achieved an amazing milestone. You no longer need to exert a huge amount of effort to keep at it. Your change has become a part of your daily routine, a part of your personality and identity. It is effortless and light and liberating. You have become a new person. More precisely, you have CREATED a new person.

Lastly, if you want to make sure you don't get stuck at any point of your specific life-altering process, connect with a mentor, a coach, a business buddy. Someone you'll be accountable to. Someone you can fully trust to give you unbiased guidance and constructive honest feedback and keep you moving steadily forwards, on track, along every step of the way towards living the life you've been dreaming of.

For those of you who seek inspiration in others, I highly recommend watching the movie Arnold depicting Schwarzenegger's rise to success not once but thrice as bodybuilder, actor and politician. Where the vision is strong and conviction unfailing, the results are certain to follow. Proven three times over.

Another huge inspiration and important lessons can be learned from the King Richard where Will Smith shines in the role of the William's sisters' father who planned his daughter's success and the roadmap to achieving it in the greatest detail before they were even born.

Desire with all your soul, commit completely, then do WHATEVER it takes. Break out of your shackles and dare to go after what you truly want in life!

Persevere, stop at nothing and you are set on a direct collision course with success.

Take action! Choose one of the following to work on immediately:

1) Your limiting beliefs. Make a list of all the negative thoughts and judgments you harbour about yourself. For each, right down how that characteristic can be perceived as a strength, how you could put it to work for, not against, you or how you could work to overcome it. For example, I believe I am terribly chaotic and disorganized, often lost in daydreaming. My family could talk. I also believed I was painfully shy.

The upside of being a dreamer is, I am creative and generate out of the box ideas. I can snap out of the daily drudge and see beyond the horizon. I am a visionary and a strong believer in human potential beyond what one sees on the surface. I am able to function well in chaotic and unpredictable environments. I am flexible and adaptable. I am able to go with the flow. Surprises are not a setback for me. Although I am not a good planner, I am a survivor who can deal well with changing circumstances.

As for the perception (not reality) of being awfully shy, this characteristic can serve as a human glue. It makes one more accessible to others, more human in a way. If you can be shy and at the same time show your vulnerability, you invite the same from others. Fragility and softness. Although the opposite is implied, these actually serve as a door to authenticity and to a feeling of connectedness with others. If you are feeling genuinely shy, you are being authentic. And that touches the hearts of others.

2) Identify one person in your life whom you trust completely and ask for their honest feedback. Call him/her now and ask them to tell you in short (max 3 minutes) what they think you could do to improve yourself, to be more happy.

3) Identify two people in your life whom you highly respect. Ask them to serve as your long-term mentor. Contact them and ask them for their sustained guidance and regular feedback on your journey to fulfillment.